Today's post is a recycled post I wrote a few years ago, but I know there are many out there who can relate to the subject of feeling inadequate.
Sometimes I look at other mothers and compare myself to them. All the other moms seem to have it all together. I visited a mom-friend of mine a few weeks ago. She has two children. A son who is twelve and a daughter who is eight. Her house was immaculate! There was no clutter anywhere. The wood floors were freshly polished, the stainless steel countertops sparkled, everything was in its place. Martha Stewart had nothing on these people!
We walked into her daughter's room. There would be a mess in there for sure. (My daughter is six and I know how messy her room gets. Trust me, I clean it most of the time because she gets overwhelmed by the mountainous piles of clutter and clothes.)
There was no mess in her daughter's room. The bed was made, the toys were neatly stacked in small bins, the carpet had no bits of paper...
Now my house is not a filthy pig pen. But it is not immaculate either. We have clutter. There are a few towels on my bathroom floor as we speak. Last night's pizza boxes still reside on the kitchen counter and my refrigerator probably holds at least one science experiment waiting to happen.
Standing in this woman's beautiful house started to make me self-conscious. "Note to self, do not invite this woman to our home until I have a de-cluttering garage sale." I began to feel ashamed. My furniture was not as nice, my house was not as clean, my children rarely make their beds. I compared and compared. I kept coming up short.
I'm sure I'm not the only mom who compares herself to others. There's always that perfect mom out there that is nothing like us.
I work a few hours a week in a health club daycare. Many of the moms who drop off their children are there to exercise several times a week. They wear size two designer sweat pants and have year round tans. They are the total opposite of me. Most of them had children and then seemed to drop all of the weight overnight. I had children and have steadily gained weight after they were born. I looked at a slice of cake the other day and twenty pounds jumped off the cake and attached itself to my backside.
When these moms drop off their children, I greet the children and quickly compare myself. It's crazy how quickly I can compare and how routine that can become. So routine at times that we don't even realize how much we do this! One quick glance and I've already compared and told myself that I don't measure up. I'm not good enough. I'm not pretty enough. I don't have what she has. My thighs look nothing like that! I could spend hours primping and not look as good as her after she sweated it out in a kickboxing session!
We look at their surface and assume their lives are perfect. It's crazy, but I've even had women try and compare themselves to me. One afternoon I spoke at a women's ministry meeting. One of the women approached me when I was finished. "How do you do it?" She asked. "You just seem to have it all together." I'll admit, I laughed so hard, I snorted like a pig. Why in the world would this woman assume I had it all together? Did she see me? Hadn't she just heard me stutter while I spoke? Had she not caught all of the mistakes I had just made? No. She was too busy comparing her own outfit, her own abilities, her own life... to mine.
The truth is, she was just like me. She was another one of those non-perfect women that God created. Look around you. The world is full of non-perfects.
We look at those around us and see their surface. We assume that their surface is a portrayal of what is inside. But when we look inside, we sometimes see a different story.
I know a woman whose surface is beautiful. She is one of the happiest and prettiest people I've ever known. She has a contagious smile, she is very pretty. Everyone loves her. She is on staff at a big church, she sings beautifully... For years I thought, "Wow, she must have had the perfect life. She really seems to have it all." But that was the surface that we all see.
The reality was, she'd been divorced for years. Her husband had had an affair and it had nearly destroyed her. She was a non-perfect, just like the rest of us.
But she relied on God for strength and God had brought her through. She didn't let her circumstances shape who she was. She let her Heavenly Father shape her future. That is where her joy came from.
We are all non-perfects on the inside. Everyone has a story. God does not want us to compare ourselves to other women. All we end up comparing is the surface. We don't know what circumstances or trials most people have been through.
The only person who knows every one of my hurts and pains is Jesus. We don't let everyone know what burdens us, what are fears are, what keeps us up at night worrying.
Colossians 3: 1-4 "Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits at God's right hand in the place of honor and power. Let heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think only about things down here on earth. For you died when Christ died, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your real life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory."
Your real life is who Christ says you are! Isn't that wonderful? Don't look at others, but set your sights on the realities of heaven. Only through Christ can we find true joy and contentment with our lives.
You're a non-perfect. So am I. Maybe your children have colored on your walls. Maybe your husband leaves his dirty socks on the floor. Maybe you feel like you don't have time to diet and McDonald is a much easier option. Join the club of non-perfects and thank God that our real life is hidden with Christ in God!
May you flourish in the life God has given you.
Ciao!
PS, Don't forget to join the blog hop on August 13th! Visit my blog that day for a link to other blogs and a chance to win a Kindle Fire. Instructions will be posted!
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